I want you to know the only way you will learn who you truly are, is to focus on within and ask yourself questions. I want you to begin learning about who you are, who your soul is, and how to trust yourself and your gut/intuition. I am going to tell you a few of my personal life experiences and share with you a practice. I only ask that you read the following with an open mind, for what I am about to share with you is not conventional Western Medicine – if you will.
Freshman year of high school, I made a new best friend, we will call her Tris. Tris and I had a lot of fun times, but we had just as many bad times. In this specific example, Tris and I just weren’t a good fit for each other. Our paths were meant to cross, but we were not meant to remain in each other’s lives. I was taught lessons from her and I’m sure she learned lessons from me. Know that this isn’t an example of abandoning a friend when life gets hard but is an example of how to know when things aren’t right.
When our friendship began down the toxic route, I began to break out really bad and have panic attacks. Tris and I’s friendship was getting toxic, very toxic and my classmates antagonized it. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to run away, move, or go incognito. But, unfortunately no matter how hard I pitched the idea to my mom, I was stuck here, for the time remaining. Which is honestly a good thing, because you can never learn or grow from experiences or people, no matter how good or bad if you run away from it.
Have you ever heard the saying, “people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”? This is so true. Long story short, I began to cut people out of my life that weren’t meant to stay in it. I didn’t cut everyone out, some faded out and others cut me out. The point is, that the people that are meant to be in my life, are in my life, whether they stay in my life in the long run or not I learned, I grew and I’m a better person because of them. I want you to know that it’s perfectly okay to cut people out if they are causing you mental, emotional, or physical harm. If they aren’t good for you, cut them out, don’t make yourself suffer. Once I cut Tris and all of the other people who didn’t align with my values, the results I got were crazy. Not only was I more emotionally and mentally stable, functioning and healthy, my skin cleared up and I stopped having panic attacks.
We’ll take it one step further, once I left my high school to go to running start a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I hated going to school, and I’m a person who loves learning, I always have. But for some reason, I loathed going to my high school. You can ask any of my classmates, my teachers, my high school counselor, or the school’s athletic supervisor. They will all tell you that I was not happy at high school, at all. Every few months I go back to see my high school counselor and it’s amazing to hear them tell me how much happier, healthier and more vibrant I seem. Its crazy that once I left a friendship and a place that was damaging my mental health how much more I started to radiate joy. Call it a coincidence if you will, but as someone who lived through it, it’s not a coincidence, because it’s happened more than once.
Junior year I began to hang out a lot with someone, we will call him Bob. Every time I was with Bob, my leg would shake like crazy, up and down. You know like how sometimes you get those leg jitters during a test. My leg was doing that, but overexaggerated and consistently (like my foot was lowkey hopping off the ground) – that’s not normal for me. I also began to feel confined in my every day activities, when I began to spend more time with Bob. Know that I’m claustrophobic so, when I got those feelings it caused me to freak out a little. I was getting a trapped feeling even though in reality, I would just be home, in a park or at school – that feeling followed me wherever I went. You know what I did next – I cut him out and my life is better because of it.
Know that you will go through some bad things; some bad relationships, friendships, situations and experiences. But some of these things, experiences and people can be avoided if you just take a few moments to look within yourself for the answer you’re searching for.
To find an answer you are looking for, practice this exercise called The Sway Test.
- Write your topic on a piece of paper. Whether that’s someone’s name, a class, a place, or whether or not you should do a task now or later. Write it down on a piece of paper and fold it up. You can do this with multiple little pieces of paper, and put a single name/task/place on each different piece of paper.
- Once you have your piece or pieces of paper, set them down on a table, mix them up, and walk away from them for a minute. Go do a lap around the house and then come back to those papers. Do this because it’s important to not focus on the topics but, only on the question you will ask.
- Stand straight, with your legs hip width apart and knees slightly bent. Hold your hands over your solar plexus (the center of the nervous system. Its located between your ribs and belly button – the squishy part below your ribs) and feel your body balance and center through your feet.
- Then reach for a piece of folded paper, the first one that you touch. Grab it and hold it to your solar plexus chakra. Keep holding the piece of paper there, and feel the energy radiating from your gut, your solar plexus chakra. Focus on that energy. When you’re ready, ask yourself “Is this (person, place or thing) in my highest and greatest good right now?”
- If you effortlessly lean forward, like something is pulling your entire being – the answer is Yes. If you lean backward, like something just pulled you – the answer is No.
You can do this however many times you want, whenever you want. It’s important that you follow the steps described because they center you and keep you connected to the Earth and the Divine within you. I understand how this can be seen as “woo-woo”. It’s not though, unless you define knowing and being able to communicate with your subconscious, superconscious and soul to be woo-woo. It’s enlightening and natural to know who you are and what is best for you.
Either way, i hope you try it out. Although here’s a tip: don’t try and force an answer though – it won’t work and will just leave you frustrated. Let this blog be my advice to you, to learn about who you are and how to trust yourself. Don’t forget to leave a comment down below and tell me your experience with this – i’d love to hear your stories. Follow us on Instagram and tag us @advancedteens if you try this practice.
With Peace, Love and Gratitude